"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (DYSTOPIAN GOVERNMENT)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


"Hello, is Frank Finkle there? This is Betty Rubble and I want to give the host a Conspiracy Theory."



What is the nature of your conspiracy?



"My conspiracy is about the Dystopian Government."



Report please: What is a Dystopia?



"Well, it's the opposite of a Utopia. It's when people live in such horror for the sake of horror's sake."



Report please: What is living in horror?



"Well, it's when we see things that are wrong and people all agree it's wrong, except for the ones responsible for making things better."



Report please: How is that connected to government?



"Well, take our lives for instance, I'm talking to you on a phone made out of a horn and a piece of string and I'm literally talking to a robot in an office in stead of a human."



Report please: Are we in the same country?



"Yes! The Flintstones and the Jetsons are in the same country. That's Dystopian government! Why don't we have the same things as the The Jetsons?"



Correction: Those tv shows are in different time periods.



"No we're not! I live 20 minutes from your office! We're in a Dystopian Government!



Please calm down, ma'am. You people need to learn your place.



"What did you say to me you robo-bitch?"



I do not allow such language from humans. Good-bye...

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (RUSSIA & THE MEDIA)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


Hello! I am Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is Russian interference in America destroying the country by using the media.
My guest today is Detective Pig. What are you doing over there?


I'm putting all the Russian clues in the media machine and seeing what happens.


Will the machine give you an answer?



Nope. The machine doesn't work.


Then why are you putting clues in it?



Because, everyone expects me to put the clues in the media machine.


Why don't you just stop doing it?



Because this is America. The media machine needs me to feed it stuff.


What are you feeding it?



Opinions, videos, documents, whatever people click on when they're on the toilet.


In America, people only get their news from a toilet?



Well, no...maybe...yes...yes, they get all their news from a toilet.


I will never understand humans.



"Hmm, what's this I hear about you profiling Black ducks on Mallard Street, Callahan?"

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (MELANIA TRUMP)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


Wait! I am Frank Finkle 3000 and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is MELANIA TRUMP being abused by Donald Trump?
I caught up with Melania Trump while she was in town at one of her husbands many golf courses.
-------------recorded 09Nov16-------------------------


Hello, Melania Trump?



"Ist this und interview? Dis ist nix der right time."


I just have a few question and I'll be out of your hair...which smells very nice by the way.



"Danke. my husband does not hate Mexicans."


No, I don't want to ask about Mexico. My question is very personal.



"Oh yes, my husband doesn't like Russian hooker piss."


No, I was going to ask you something else.



"Oh yes, my husband loves being president of...what country ist this again?"


America.



"Yes, my husband enjoys your country very much."


Mrs. Trump, does your husband abuse you?



"He does not hit me. Why would you say that? HE DOES NOT HIT ME...on Tuesdays."


Wait, are you saying he does hit you?



"What day ist it today?


Tuesday.



"Oh lord....oh my lord...."


Should I call somebody?



"Yes, call Olga our Russia maid and tell her it's code 49."


What is that?



"She will know what it is. You better ran before we get the urine all over you. Go!"


It was nice to talk to you Melania Trump.



"Go! The urine gets everywhere!"


Speaking of urine...have you tried Maury's House Of Bagels? When you think bagels, think Maury.