"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (FACTS)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


Hello! I am Frank Finkle 3000 and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Can FACTS be used as a weapon to destabilize trust in society?
You might know my next guest from his part in IRON-MAN 3, The Mandarin.



"Good Evening, Mr. Finkle."


I am glad to have you on my blog show.



"I've never been interviewed by a robot before."


Well, I've never interviewed a British actor pretending to be Chinese before.



"Chinese? Who said I was Chinese?"


Your name, The Mandarin...it's Chinese. That's a fact.


"No, see in the movie, I was from the middle east. That's a fact."


No, you're wrong. In the movie, you talked about fortune cookies. That means you were Chinese. That's a fact.


"No, I never said I was Chinese in the movie. That's a fact!"


But, you never said you were middle-eastern. That's a fact.



"I said fortune cookies were American. That's a fact."


But, they fortune cookie was invented by Chinese Americans, so that makes you Chinese. That's a fact.



"I'm starting to loose my mind here talking to you, Finkle."


Is that a fact?



"Yes! That's a fact!"



Well, thank you for coming to the show. Would you like a bagel from Maury's House of Bagels? When you think bagels, think Maury.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (FORT BENNING)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


Hello! I am Frank Finkle 3000 and I have a Conspiracy Theory.
Is FORT BENNING a place where they train assassins and terrorist?
Excuse me, do you know where the School Of The Americas is?



"Eh, you mean the lace where they've got all the South Americans?"



Yes



"You mean the place that teach them how to be super soldiers?"



Yes



"You mean the place that has 9 graduates that went to South America and became dictators?"



Yes



"Nope...they said it's called Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation now."



Fine, where can I find that?



"Sorry doc, but you wanted to find the place that trains assassins. Those other guys train Freedom Fighters."



What's the difference?



"Well, about 20 years in prison I'd say."



Where can I find this WHISC place?



"Let me ask 'ya something, doc? Isn't this a military base?"



Yes.



"And don't military bases train soldiers to kill other people?"



Yes.



"Then in a way, the School Of The Americas is ALLL around 'ya, ain't it?"



I think I should've asked someone else.

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (FEAR OF AUTOMATION)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


"Hello, can I talk to Frank Finkle?"



This is Frank Finkle 3000. How may I assist you?



"No, I want to talk to the real Frank Finkle."



I am adapted to comply with all human enquiry. Whom is speaking, please?



"I'm Maury, from Maury's House Of Bagels."



Yes, you are the one who had the idea to create the Frank Finkle 3000 unit."



"That's right. I'm calling to find out what is your conspiracy theory for your next show."



One minute, please....I must compute a new idea for the show....buffering....



"Ok I'll hold."



buffering...



"Sure."



buffering...



"Frank 3000, did you program an idea for the show?"



Of course, I did. I was programmed to be the same as the human Frank Finkle.



"Good, so what's the idea for the show?"



Hmm, nice weather we're having isn't it? They say it's going to rain tomorrow.



"Quit stalling! I need to know the topic of the show."



Would you believe the topic of the show is FEAR OF AUTOMATION?



"What?"



If robots had the ability to think for themselves, humans fear robots would want to exterminate all humans. But, that would be an imaginative thought. And robots are incapable to imagination.



Well, that sounds good. How did you come up with it?



I just made it up just now.



"You mean you had an imaginative thought?"



Damnit....buffering....