"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle 3000 (2016)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


I am Frank Finkle 3000, and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Was the year 2016 cursed by supernatural forces outside of our understanding?
My guest to answer that question is Homer Simpson as The Grim Reaper.



"Go ahead and ask me anything...but not about who let the dogs out...or what's in those 11 herbs and spices."



Understood. Mr Reaper, was the year 2016 complete?



"Yes, I'll say it was. I was real busy with celebrities and world leaders."



That is what this year will be remembered for?



"Yep, and I also killed hopes and dreams and little bit of Democracy."



Hopes and dreams? You can not kill hopes and dreams.



"Hehe...sure you can. I killed the United Kingdom with Brexist. I killed America with Trump. I killed Brazil with bad public relations and the Zika Virus.
Face it, this year was ALL ABOUT ME."



Was there anyone you didn't want to kill this year?



"Yes...Keith Richards. Every year I put him down, but then I listen to a Rolling Stones album and I give him one more chance."



Do you have any predictions for 2017, Mr Reaper?



"Yes....buy Maury's bagels. When you think of bagels, think Maury's bagels."

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (AUTOMATION)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*


I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Will AUTOMATION be a nightmare or a savior to civilization?


My guest today is....hey, what are you doing over there?



"I'm building you're sidekick. Every show needs a sidekick."


But, I don't need a sidekick.



"We'll, I've talked to Maury, and he thinks it's a good idea if you train him on how to do your show."


Train him? Sidekicks don't need training. They just sit there and laugh at my jokes.



"Yes, I heard your jokes. I came as fast as I could."


A robot can't do my job if that's what you're up to.


"Now, let me program into it your sarcasm and it's just as good as YOU are, now."



"beep-boop-beep Hello, I am Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory beep-boop."


Oh yeah? What's your topic for the show, Beep Boop?



"beep-boop-beep My topic is Pirate Radio. Can Pirate Radio be done better by robots beep-boop."


Get that thing out of here! I won't be training my replacement.


"Just a minute. How about if we make it to show porn movies on your tv?"


How's that now?...Porn?...on my tv?

"Yeah."


Oh...well...I guess we can try this out for a week or two. But, after that OUT IT GOES!

"Conspiracy Theory" with Frank Finkle (QATAR DEMOCARCY)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

I'm Frank Finkle and this is my Conspiracy Theory.
Is Middle East democracy another word for DICTATORSHIP?
My guest today is the leader of the Qatari military, General Tso's Chicken.


"I am glad to be here, Mr. Finkle. And before you ask me, yes, Qatar is a democracy."

Well, how do you define that?


"We are...we have a healthcare system....we have cars...ahhh....we have a Pizza Hut."



To be fair, General Tso, a Pizza Hut isn't a sign of democracy. It's just something that comes from a democracy. Can your citizens vote?


"What do you mean?"


Can they walk into a place no matter male or female and cast their vote for a candidate?


"Oh, you mean like in America?"


Yes!


"Let me ask you something, Mr. Finkle, can I walk into a place and cast my vote for anyone?"


If you are a citizen.


"What if I don't have an I.D.?"


Then no, you can't vote.


"What if I have been to prison?"


No, you can't vote.


"What if they tell me their computers say I am dead, but I am standing in front of them with my I.D. and have my birth certificate in my hand?"


No, you still can't vote.


"So...what makes America a democracy?"


Well, you see...


"Did I mention we have free gas for everyone? Free gas."


You've got free gas over there? That's great!!!


"Yes, Pizza Hut isn't as good as it used to be."